If you are married, this means we should be serving our spouse. Okay, so “serve my spouse”… what does that mean? How do I do it?

I have my own ideas, but today I want to share some examples from some guys who’ve been married much longer than me.

–”I make the bed every morning, and fix dinner once a week. It’s not Mother Teresa stuff, but you gotta start somewhere.” —John Ortberg, pastor and author, married to Nancy for 22 years

–”Jesus served his followers by washing their feet. In his culture that was the job of a servant. I asked my wife and she had no desire for me to wash her feet, but she had a lot of other good ideas, such as: take out the garbage, vacuum the floors, wash the dishes, dust the blinds, and keep the lawn looking nice. I followed Jesus’ example, and I live with a happy woman.” —Gary D. Chapman, marriage and family expert, married to Karolyn for 43 years

–”It may seem a small thing, but Dianna and I have gotten into the habit of always asking the other if we need anything when we’re up. Just grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge or putting a dish in the sink is an act of servanthood that allows ‘preferring others over yourself’ to begin at home.” —Jerry B. Jenkins, best-selling novelist, married to Dianna for 34 years

–”To really serve my mate, I need to ‘go to school’ and study her as if in pursuit of a Ph.D. In my case, it’s ‘Beckology,’ and I have to know her like no other on the planet. I have to tune in to her feelings, her fears, and her dreams. Only then can I serve her as Christ served the church.” —H. Dale Burke, pastor and author, married to Becky for 30 years

So let me get some comments. How do YOU serve your spouse?

On Sunday mornings, I teach a bible study to a group of married couples. Our class is called Marriage Matters. They are a wonderful group of people who faithfully attend to learn more about their relationship with Christ and with their spouse.

For the last couple of years, I’ve issued a Valentine’s Challenge. We alternate challenging the husbands and wives. Here’s the premise:

Do something extra special for your spouse for Valentine’s Day. It has to be special enough for your spouse to send me an email with the details (G rated, of course!). My wife and I take all of the emails, compare them and determine a winner.

Sounds easy, enough right? It has been a joy to see husbands and wives get outside of their comfort zone and do something fun & exciting for Valentine’s Day. Flowers & candy won’t get the prize. Neither will a mushy card. Here are some examples (and winners):

A husband went through the photo albums of previous vacations. He selected several photos and made a slideshow for each vacation. Then over the course of several nights leading up to Valentines, he prepared a meal centered around an enjoyable meal from the vacation. While eating, they watched the slideshow on the TV and reminisced about the vacation. So while they were eating steak, they talked about the great steak they had in New York several years ago and looked at pictures from their time in New York. Fun, huh?

One husband started 26 days before Valentine’s Day and gave his wife a handwritten note each day using a letter from the alphabet. A for adore, B for Beautiful, etc. No money spent, but the wife was ABSOLUTELY blown away. This husband was not a “writer” by nature. He went outside of his comfort zone and that decision benefited his marriage.

So today is Thursday, February 12. You only have tomorrow & Saturday. But I want to encourage you to get outside of your comfort zone and do something extraordinary for your spouse.

Also, I’d like more examples. What have you done, or heard about, that was extra special on Valentine’s Day?